Debt Appreciation

HOPE

Profit is Progress. Ownership is Myth.

Capitalism has always been the wave of the future, and we have finally perfected it. There are no countries, there are no longer any tribes, there is only HOPE and the infinite golden spiral of subsidiaries and shell corporations. The only law is the wording of your contract, the only goal is the accumulation of material pleasures.

Consume. Grind. Breed. Rot. Die. Repeat.

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HOPE Employee Handbook

Chapter 5a: Debt Appreciation

Debt. It’s a beautiful word, isn’t it? One that encapsulates everything which truly matters in this life. It’s the foundation of our collective reality, the lifeblood of our corporate personhood, the motivating force that renders unto every worker a reason to wake up in the early morning. Debt is the force that structures the fabric of our society, working tirelessly, thanklessly, to weave our reality into a self-justified hierarchy that autonomously regulates the Lifetime Value-Path™ of each individual citizen-employee. Without it, where would we be? Nowhere, that’s where!

Why, it’s the very thing that first enabled us to bring the entirety of Old Earth into our Extended Corporate Family™! Upon completion of the Final Merger™, Humanity’s last company scraped together the necessary capital to buy out the debt of the few remaining countries. Unified at last, HOPE’s New Humanity™ built an ark for their most productive employees, then gathered up what was left of that wasted, dusty rock and set off into the stars on a grand journey of Exploiration™! There were challenges along the way, of course: pharmacological hesitation, attempted ‘:(unionizations):, advert fatigue -- the inevitable growing pains invariably endured by every newborn Utopian™ society. But no matter the difficulty, we managed to endure, adapt, and thrive, ultimately growing into the flowering, idealized civilization that we all know and Love™.

And throughout the rigors and struggles of that monumental growth spurt, we had Debt to hold us steady. Debt kept our society intact when it was on the verge of total default, binding it together with a web of comforting obligation that allowed HOPE’s complex system of Ethical|Corporate|Governance™ to coagulate and prosper. Without Debt, we would never have been able to shed our weaker selves and manifest the magnificently-profitable future-present. Nowadays, in the Final Era™, the corporate machine runs perfectly, smoothly, producing quarter-after-quarter-after-quarter of record-breaking profits. Our corporation’s expansion is perpetual, its future eternally bright.

That’s the power of a Debt-motivated society.

A culture of consumption keeps ambition alive. If you’re not lusting for more, then why even bother to exist, let alone innovate? Necessity, after all, is the mother of invention, and the desire to consume is the father of necessity. If you’re not obeying your primal urges, then you are holding Humanity™ back. STAGNATING. It doesn’t matter whether you can afford it, it doesn’t matter whether you need it – the only thing that matters is that you want it, whatever it is. Fortune favors the bold, after all, and you can’t buy the future without spending the present. Besides, you could die tomorrow in some liability-free workplace accident, so you ought to enjoy the now! Buy the clothes! Eat at the restaurant! Purchase some new prescriptions! There are targeted advertisements everywhere you look, so just follow your heart! It’s not just the only path to true happiness, it is the destiny of our Corporate Family™.

You don’t want to betray the future, do you?